GIRL BOSS

The women in my family are bosses. It is ingrained in them, and so they marry men that accept that truth. It is a truth that every one of them upholds and is upfront about, it is almost like they tag it on their foreheads.

I say them because I am in no way ready to smash Guinness bottles on my husband's head because he asked the right question at the wrong time. My aunt Ehis did that two years ago.

This boss attitude is also the reason why when uncle Cosmas said he no longer wanted to marry aunt Naomi, she drove him out of the house and got all my aunties to testify that he was a serial wife beater. The judge was also aunt Naomi's classmate from her all-girls secondary school. I think you know how that went.

The ironic fact is that nobody in my family would ever define themselves as feminists. It is in fact, a hated term in the house. As aunt Agatha says, "feminism doesn't keep you warm at night, nor does it stop men from cheating on you or stealing from you."

Well, that's what the older generation thinks. My cousin, Uwa, calls herself a feminist and says that she doesn't need brawn to win the battles that she faces daily. It is sad because it was the brawn, displayed by Nengi, IT, and Edith, our cousins, that stopped her cheating boyfriend from disappearing with all her money. Rumor had it that he's blacklisted anyone that bears the family's last name, a bunch of primitive females, his last tweet said. 

It is not our fault that our great, great, great, great grandmother married a man that did not know her worth, and so rejected her ideas on how to run his business because she was a woman, and thus overworked her till she died. And her daughter, seeing the way her mother had died, used juju to ensure that the family became a matrilineal one and that the men would always bow to the women folk. It is a benefit that we enjoy today, even our cousins that go to the pentecostal churches where they breathe and speak fire do not pray against it. They call it a generational blessing.

It is safe to say that my family is a strange one, held together by women with unbending backs and strong convictions. It is both a blessing and a curse to have such tightly knit bonds and to have so many women, but as the men in the house often say, "na una get the market, make una sell wetin una get for basket."

The End.

Hehehe!

I liked writing this one.

Any resemblance to persons, whether living or dead is purely coincidental.

Or not?

Still, the disclaimer stands.

This photo belongs to Godisable Jacobs on Pexels.