BIRTHDAYS : DOOM, GLOOM AND ADULTING

 

Have you ever cried on your birthday? Not happy tears because the display of love is so much, you are fairly drowning in it. I am talking about big, fat tears that come with an ugly cry and plenty of pain. If you haven’t, you’re probably one of the few lucky people on earth, who are not afflicted with the “birthdays are gloom days” syndrome.

No, birthdays aren’t all that bad. There are calls, texts, pictures, posts on the gram, tears, and cake! Never leave out the cake. And there’s also the bittersweet reminder that you’re getting older, and if you’re an early twenty-something, your descent into the adult world is not a dream. It is your new reality. Congratulations, you are now an adult.

The very thought of becoming an adult scared me so much, that for my 18^th, 19^th and 20^th birthdays, I nearly cried myself into depression. I did not want to become an adult! There was nothing appealing about it! Just responsibilities, and responsibilities, and responsibilities. I wasn’t eager to explore anything, and no, I didn’t want the added pressure that is engineered by a society that takes and takes from you, God bless us all. And so, I approached each of those birthdays with a certain amount of dread.

My birthday is in January, the second week of January, to be more precise. And for each of those birthdays, starting from the 31^st of the previous month, December, that is, I’d count down the days with a sense of impending gloom. And I have no idea why, (actually I do, you’d have to ask me personally). Maybe it is because I have a very overwhelming sense of responsibility, and so, becoming a legal adult just made that trait all the more overwhelming, who knows? Anyways, birthdays for me were bittersweet those years, and I hid it well.

Now, not many people suffer from this, but I think that with the increasing pressure on twenty-somethings to make something of themselves, and quite early, I might add, you may just have felt or do feel what I felt. I still feel the same way, sometimes, if things aren’t working out the way I want, but I have learned to not let it control me. Sadness isn’t funny, and it does have a way of messing with your thought process.

So, I had to learn to not think of the cons of adulting as anything more than cons. And that helped a lot. Who knew you could revel in some negatives? Haha. And so, birthdays became days for me to read texts and posts on social media, have copious amounts of fun, and have a bloody good time, counting my blessings all the way! You, dear reader, are a part of my blessings too. I look forward to my next birthday, I feel good about it too!

Hey, chin up and wide smiles!

Kisses!