If I were Kambili, I’d seduce Father Amadi, get pregnant, and
drive another stake through my father’s magnanimous heart, heh,
If I were Okonkwo, I’d have kept Ikemefuna, have Ezinma
marry him, the gods and their consequences be damned.
If I were Ifemelu, I’d have married Blaine and kept Obinze
as my boy toy. He’d love me too much to complain.
If I were Baba Segi, I’d have killed mama Segi, denied
Bolanle her freedom, and named my next child Segi.
If I were Nnu Ego, I’d have befriended Mrs. Meers, slept with
her husband, and poison Nnaife. His beer gut would thank me after. Or poison Dr
Meers, whomever irritated me first.
If I were Korede, I’d have snitched on Ayoola, gotten
pregnant for Muhtar, and resign from the hospital. After all, no one knows you
better than the one who knows about all your crimes.
If I were Ogbanje, I’d die ten times every week. After all,
there’s nothing like a crying mother to soothe your soul.
If I were Adah, I’d have left Francis as soon as I could. Who
needs a man to be happy? Who needs his disapproval? Alas! My aunt would call it
‘the misfortune of an educated woman’. I beg to differ.
Behold all the people I wish I were and I know I can never
be.
If only.
P. S.
The persons above are fictional characters in some of my favorite
books by Nigerian authors. This piece is not meant to describe the work of the
author as lacking. It is the opposite in fact. Each character reflects a piece
of the fragility that is inherent in human nature. This piece is just a
twentysomething year old’s fantasy, one is allowed to dream, no?
The characters, in order of writing, are taken from the
following books:
Purple Hibiscus – Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Things Fall Apart – Chinua Achebe
Americanah – Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives – Lola Shoneyin
The Joys of Motherhood – Buchi Emecheta
My Sister the Serial Killer – Oyinkan Braithwaite
Dizzy Angel – Gracy Osifo
Second Class Citizen – Buchi Emecheta
😂😂😂😂 thank you for the weird plot twist. And the disheartening sequel. This is beautiful either way. Weldone ♥️♥️
ReplyDeletehehehe. thank you.
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