If I Were A Literary Character...

If I were Kambili, I’d seduce Father Amadi, get pregnant, and drive another stake through my father’s magnanimous heart, heh,

If I were Okonkwo, I’d have kept Ikemefuna, have Ezinma marry him, the gods and their consequences be damned.

If I were Ifemelu, I’d have married Blaine and kept Obinze as my boy toy. He’d love me too much to complain.

If I were Baba Segi, I’d have killed mama Segi, denied Bolanle her freedom, and named my next child Segi.

If I were Nnu Ego, I’d have befriended Mrs. Meers, slept with her husband, and poison Nnaife. His beer gut would thank me after. Or poison Dr Meers, whomever irritated me first.

If I were Korede, I’d have snitched on Ayoola, gotten pregnant for Muhtar, and resign from the hospital. After all, no one knows you better than the one who knows about all your crimes.

If I were Ogbanje, I’d die ten times every week. After all, there’s nothing like a crying mother to soothe your soul.

If I were Adah, I’d have left Francis as soon as I could. Who needs a man to be happy? Who needs his disapproval? Alas! My aunt would call it ‘the misfortune of an educated woman’. I beg to differ.

Behold all the people I wish I were and I know I can never be.

If only.

 

P. S.

The persons above are fictional characters in some of my favorite books by Nigerian authors. This piece is not meant to describe the work of the author as lacking. It is the opposite in fact. Each character reflects a piece of the fragility that is inherent in human nature. This piece is just a twentysomething year old’s fantasy, one is allowed to dream, no?

The characters, in order of writing, are taken from the following books:

Purple Hibiscus – Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Things Fall Apart – Chinua Achebe

Americanah – Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives – Lola Shoneyin

The Joys of Motherhood – Buchi Emecheta

My Sister the Serial Killer – Oyinkan Braithwaite

Dizzy Angel – Gracy Osifo

Second Class Citizen – Buchi Emecheta